Well, non-hentai ones don't HAVE sex scenes generally. :) Many non-H games aren't about sex at all (If the characters are young, or waiting for marriage, or just plain busy, the game may be about them developing a relationship but not having sex.) Some will simply imply that it happens, like fading to black and then starting up the next day with people wearing nightclothes in bed. Like you'd see in a non-R-rated movie or TV show.
What you generally *don't* find in dating sims is "suggestive" scenes where people are almost but not quite naked. Since they have such a reputation for being porny, games tend to either steer completely clear or go the whole hog. If you want people in skimpy clothing cuddling, you tend to want to look at the RPG market, like with Dragon Age, rather than a dating sim.
Most full hentai dating sims don't look much like porn movies because they are made from still images. If they're still in Japan, they're legally required to be censored, so the naughty bits will be slightly blurred out (you can still tell what's going on, it's just pixely in certain areas.) Each sex "scene" will probably have anywhere from one to five images and a lot of text description of what's happening. The text is often rather badly written IMO because it tends to be focusing on the characters going "Ah! Ah! Ah" and so on. So you'll read lots and lot sof that and then MAYBE the still image on the screen will update to show things having moved a little further along.
There are hentai games with full animation and so on. These are generally NOT dating sims, they're sex sims. It's expensive and complicated to make interactive 3d porn, they don't want to waste their time with stuff like plot and writing and characters. :)
A true H dating sim will tend to have hours and hours of gameplay wrapped around very small sections of sex - you get to know the girl (or guy), you try to make her like you, you find out about her problems, you help her deal with her problems, and THEN finally you get together. A sex sim is meant for, um, self-stimulation and just gets right to the point.
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